Captain’s Tight Log
I love how captains are always saying they run pretty tight ships. I want to meet the loose ship captains. Granted most of them probably run gay cruise lines but there are probably straight ones too. Unless tight means a straight ship and loose means a gay one. Then all those captains are dumb.
“I run a pretty tight ship”
“Great your not gay whoop dee do now are my valuables going to be safe or not? Because if I get robbed it’s your ass buddy and I’m gonna loosen the hell out of that thing.”
“Well I think it could go both ways like the security is tight along with my asshole.”
But I think the convos with the loose captains would be much more interesting.
“So is my stuff going to be safe here?”
“The ship is called the loosey goosey…I’m going to say no? We don’t really have security, the staff isn’t really tied down to work at any point in time. It’s more just a boat that floats on this dock that I call mine.”
“Oh…well are you at least interested in sea cucumber fishing?”
“If your implying gay sex then of course. I mean, this is a loose ship.”
I wonder how long it takes to be stuck at sea with a bunch of dudes before you give up trying to find time to masterbate and just do it when you feel like it.
“John what are you doing?!”
“Listen Abe, it’s been a month. We have no computers. I can’t look at porno mags anymore I live in 2011. Why are we even on a boat can’t robots do this or people just fish from planes? A naked woman cupping her breasts in a photo is not enough anymore. And whenever I’m in enough of a mood where I can use these lame photos someone is always around. So just deal with it bro I don’t care anymore.”
“John can’t you at least use the bathroom?”
“…there’s a bathroom?”
